Sex, although not the most important, is still a pretty relevant part of many relationships.
However, just like with everything that you do regularly, at one point or another it might become boring and repetitive.
Some people might blame themselves for this, but the truth is that it is completely normal – things like this happen all the time, and no relationship is safe from such issues.
If you can relate to the statements we just mentioned, don’t worry!
Thankfully, there are plenty of ways to overcome them and make sex enjoyable once again. Do you want to learn more about how you can spice things up in your bedroom again?
Keep on reading…
Table of Contents
Don’t Be Afraid to Use Sex Toys
The sex toy market is thriving.
As experts from The Adult Toy Shop say, in 2020, it was valued at over 33 billion American dollars, and it is expected to grow by almost 9% by 2028. It shouldn’t come as a surprise, though – after all, there are so many different sex toys available, not to mention the ones that are still waiting for their time to shine.
Because of the pandemic, people couldn’t go out to the bar or club in order to find someone with whom they could satisfy their sexual needs – instead, they had to reconnect with their own bodies.
Couples who have been stuck in quarantine together had to find a way to add a little bit of spice to their sex life. And what’s a better way of doing so, if not by using sex toys?
When choosing a sex toy, you can opt for one designed for solo use and put on a little bit of show for each other, or you can choose one of the couple sex toys that both of you can use.
Some other things you might also want to consider purchasing include lube, sex furniture, restrain systems, or a sex swing. Just remember to not force yourself to do something you don’t want to for the sake of your partner.
How About CBD?
It is no secret that CBD (no matter what form – be it a CBD wax, edible, or oil) can be extremely beneficial for your body.
If we were to list all of the benefits it has (both confirmed by research and those which are still being discovered), it would take us a great deal of time.
Although it is quite a new thing on the market, there is already a variety of products containing CBD, of which purpose is to improve users’ sex life. Those include:
- massage lotions
- oral sprays
- edibles
- personal lubricants
There are plenty of reasons why people should consider using CBD before sex. First of all, due to its anti-inflammatory properties, it can make sex less painful – this is especially important for people who suffer from a chronic condition such as endometriosis.
Additionally, CBD helps set the mood, increases sexual pleasure, and eases stress and anxiety (including performance anxiety).
It is hard to say how many people practice using CBD before sexual intercourse.
However, what we do know is that they believe it works. A recent survey conducted by Remedy Review found that over 68% of those who have used CBD before sex said that it improved their sexual experience.
Change Things Up a Little
You might not realize it, but often it’s the small changes that give the biggest results. Many people wrongly believe that adding a little bit of spice to their sex lives can be done only through something major, like participating in an orgy or donning full-body bondage.
While those things are an option (there’s nothing wrong with experimenting), they’re not the only ones that can help you make sex a better experience.
Some small changes that you can introduce to make sex more interesting for you and your partner include:
- Having sex at a different time of day than usual (for instance, instead of the evening, try morning sex)
- Trying out a new surface – how about the kitchen counter, the stairs, or on top of the washing machine?
- Using sex wedges and pillows beneath your butt to create new angles in your favorite sex positions
- Trying to have sex for different lengths of time – consider adding a quickie to your daily routine, or clear out an afternoon and spend it being intimate with your partner
Experiment With Edging
To put it simply, edging is the practice of deliberately delaying your orgasm – stopping yourself while you are on the brink of climaxing and stopping yourself before it can happen, often several times.
You can practice it with your partner or by yourself through masturbation.
You might ask yourself – Why would I do that?
Well, there are a few reasons. First of all, edging might make your sexual experience more intense, as well as make orgasms more powerful. Also, delaying the climax will most likely lead to sex being longer.
It is a great way of slowing down the process to make sure that everyone reaches their orgasm.
Use Your Senses
You have five senses – make use of them to improve your sex life. Let’s start with eyesight, as it is probably the easiest one. Whenever you are intimate with your partner, make eye contact.
If you usually have sex with the light on, turn it off, and vice versa. Some couples watch porn before getting down and let it play while in the act.
When it comes to your other senses, here are some suggestions:
- Hearing – listen to sensual music or talk dirty to each other
- Smell – light a candle with a nice smell – it’ll help set the mood
- Taste – pay attention to how each part of your partner’s body tastes, or take your time to kiss each other slowly and deeply.
- Touch – try teasing each other with different textures, or caress your partner’s body in a different way than usual.
You can also use a completely different approach and, instead of using your senses, cut them – for instance, by using a blindfold or not allowing your partner or yourself to touch the other person.
Don’t Focus Too Much on Orgasming
Many people focus too much on making sure their and their partner’s orgasm that they forget about the sole purpose of sex – pleasure. Although it is normal that you want to reach climax with your partner, it shouldn’t be your primary focus.
Good sex is only partially about orgasm – it’s more about connection and communication.
Put your focus on exploring each other’s bodies and finding erogenous zones – for example, take turns massaging each other to relieve some of the tension.
Another thing you can do is to change your perspective on sex – think about it as a game. It doesn’t have to be limited to the bedroom – don’t hesitate to take it outside of it.
During the day, send flirty messages to your partner (you can add a photo – they definitely won’t mind it), put a sexy note in their lunch box or briefcase, or create an e-mail address that would be used only in relation to sex.
Be Confident In Your Own Body
You might not think so, but body image is contagious.
This means that if you are comfortable in your own body, then your partner is more likely going to feel this way about theirs, too – the same happens when you are feeling self-conscious.
Although there’s no denying that self-love is a long journey, having a positive body image of yourself is a great first step. Better sex that it brings is just a bonus.
According to a study published in 2009 in the International Journal of Sexual Health, “women who feel more positively about women’s genitals find it easier to orgasm and are more likely to engage in sexual health-promoting behaviors” – including going to the OBGYN regularly.
Some ways to cultivate body positivity include engaging with body positivity and including media that show a wide range of body types, positive affirmations to your mirror, throwing away your scale, and learning how to accept a compliment.
The Bottom Line
There’s nothing wrong with spicing up your sex life – after all, everyone needs a bit of novelty in their relationships. Otherwise, it becomes dull and boring.
Thankfully, there are plenty of ways to make sex more enjoyable for you and your partner – some of which we have mentioned above.
The truth is that when it comes to things like your sex life, the only limit is your imagination.
However, don’t do something you don’t want to just because your partner wants to do it – sex is about enjoyment on both sides, and how enjoyable will it be doing something you’re not interested in? Probably not at all.
