It’s been quite overwhelming.
With me being stuck in a loveless and sexless marriage for years and then go out again. Even building a Tinder profile was scary in the beginning.
But looking back at it, I cannot believe how far I have come in the last year.
Foremostly, it has been a lot of fun!
All the men who want a bit of you and me wanting a bit of a few men.
Especially the last thing intrigued me because now all or of sudden I also had to bring out the best in me when it comes to flirting and attracting the right men.
After no experience in the last 15 years whatsoever, I really had to step up and I would love to share with you what it is I figured out for myself.
What I am going to say now first is such a let-down, but it is the truth… work on yourself first.
Please read my other blog on how to gain 100% girl power. You need the confidence to do all of this and really connect with yourself, who are you and why do you love yourself so much!
This is a must unless you want to end up with the completely wrong guy in a terrible relationship.
Let’s get started…
Girls Just Want to Have Fun
So I figured that what really works when approaching a man, whether it is on Tinder, a sex chat platform or even in real life, is F U N!
No man is interested in a drama relationship from the beginning, so make it easygoing and fun.
When on Tinder, I normally start with a brief flirt like “Hi babe, I want to hug that cute dog of yours” and then you will find men coming back with smileys, being seriously interested in what you have to say.
Try to keep it fun in the following chats that are coming and then you can become a bit more serious, trying to get closer.
Because of course, in the end, we want to know about his job, the previous relationships, where he lives and his amazing hobbies!
Then the second ingredient you can put in the mix is the word Surprise! Try to catch him off guard by doing something he would not expect.
What I sometimes do is send a naughty pick, still decent though (really, I promise!) and then ask him to come and kiss you.
Please make sure you do this at the right moment, obviously not after chatting with him for one minute.
You now have to use your sixth sense and feel the timing with regards to these kinds of surprises.
It might be difficult in the beginning, but you will learn by practicing! Tap into your femininity, may the flirting games begin!
I already touched on this subject in the beginning of the blog. Keep it as light-hearted as possible.
Play with this man as if there is no tomorrow. I usually keep on flirting, saying things like
“I am in my Uber on my way to you now”
“I just poured you your favorite glass of wine, come and join me”.
No man is interested in long stories about jobs, terrible colleagues, issues with your car, problems with your kids or even ex-husbands. That is all too daunting for a man in the beginning.
He will think that you will bring that drama with you in a possible relationship together.
Also, don’t ever try to convince him that you are the girl for him. Men hate this convincing behavior.
He must figure out himself if he wants to be with you. If that means you have to step back for a bit then do that.
It is your best bet for sure! I have had so many men that I flirted with, took a step back, and then they all came back in the end! Really a recipe truly tested.
Give Him Lots of Appreciation
Yes, girls, he digs digs digs appreciation!
So, whenever your guy or match compliments you, invites you, or gives you a present, describe how much you love it!
Do not tell him you’d rather wanted to go to another restaurant or you’d rather wanted him to buy these black shoes instead of the white ones.
No! Say “thank you, I appreciate it, you are the best” and he will fall even harder for you.
And then buy those other shoes yourself or go to that much better restaurant with your girlfriends. This is your life and you do not depend on him for some fun and stunning shoes!
You Don’t Really Need Him After All
And then the last topic and I think it is a combination of all of the above and put this in your head, or even write it down; you are not needy! You do not need this guy, there are a thousand other guys out there for you.
If you ever come across as needy, by trying to convince him you are the one, by letting him know you cannot live without him, by being a drama queen even, he will run away from you. Like very fast and he will never want to look back!
Of course, this is now all easier said than done, especially if you are really into a match or if you are falling for a guy but it is the biggest turn-off for a guy.
A man wants to be drawn to you, he wants to take care of you and he wants to be naturally attracted to you.
With you putting yourself out there as being needy will make him lose these primal feelings he can develop for you. So take a step back, think of other options if he doesn’t seem to come to the party, and wait until he makes a move again.
All of these tips and tricks can be applied on different platforms in life! I am still working on my skills and will for sure keep you posted if I figured out more about men.